“Adults train kids to become sexually mature in a manner they approve of. We clap and laugh over all the little moments meant to prepare them for this; we give them gender appropriate toys that will prepare little boys for a manhood of tools and trucks and little girls for a womanhood of kitchens and babies, not to mention makeup and high heels. We take “kissing cousin” photos of little boys and girls mimicking grownup sexual behavior and proudly frame them or put them in our wallets to show strangers because children mimicking adult sexual behavior is adorable (so long as it’s the correct sexual behavior). We teach little boys that they’re not supposed to cry and we teach little girls to spend their lives wondering what men are thinking of them. The second the physical aspects of sexual maturity start sprouting, we organize social events to push them toward each other; first, the fumbling and terrifying middle school dances, then the process gets increasingly formal the closer the kids get to maturity: freshman dances, sophomore dances, proms and homecomings, all to push them toward that aisle, and the socially approved method of romantic love and baby-making.”—Glee Season 2 Episode 6: Never Been Kissed | Tom & Lorenzo (via sociolab)
The problem with “Nice Guys” isn’t just about sex, and a lot of “Nice Guys” are tricked into thinking that they aren’t scumbags because their intent isn’t to get laid.
Demanding mutual emotional attraction from someone who doesn’t want to give it is just as creepy and entitled, and you don’t get a free pass just because your intent is just to make her love you, not get into her pants.
When it comes to education, there is no one-size-fits-all answer for what works. Some students might flourish in a single-sex environment, and some might not. However, it is the subliminal messages we send our students that need to be addressed when we separate young people based on their gender. The problem with single-sex classrooms in co-ed school districts is the various assumptions about gender we are enforcing. When boys and girls are separated for certain classes, the resounding message is not that boys and girls learn differently, but that girls can’t do what boys do and vice versa. These sorts of stereotypes can not only hinder educational opportunities, but can also carry through to society as these students grow up, and that can foster other stereotypes based on gender throughout these students’ lives.
Students are individuals. Separating them based on assumptions about their gender will have the same detrimental effects as separating them based on race, sexuality, or any other factor. By separating students, we are telling them that they are fundamentally different. Instead, we should be treating each student as an individual learner and allowing them to explore the learning styles that work best for them, regardless of gender.
Why am I grossed out by the things that usually turn me on lately? I’m seeing bondage and all the BSDM stuff that used to be my key to sexual excitement, and now suddenly these things aren’t sexy at all! I look at them and I’m grossed out!